Inside Joke

There is a guy I know that I sent a text to wishing him a happy holiday. He called me and I had a caller tune on my phone. For all you non-technologically advanced people (my family), that is a song that plays when you call my phone and you are waiting for me to pick up. Anyway, he just got a new phone and of course didn't know who the text was from so he was calling to see who it was. He told me that I had an interesting choice of caller tune. I momentarily blanked and told him it was an inside joke. Which really it was (although not for the reason he thought it was I am sure). In any event, it kind of came out sounding like I was making a personal joke at his expense. He then told me he called to catch up but had to run because he was in the car and would call me later.

Now, thinking about it, I am thinking about how am I going to explain the inside joke comment. He of course has the right to probe further (hoping that he does not) and I have no idea what I am going to say if he does. It really is a "joke" because I can't tell him the one thing I want to tell him and I know he is never going to even go down that road so what is the point. Therefore, I must be having delusions of grandeur thinking that it is even a possibility. Yet, I still hold on to hope. Anyway, so if I tell him any of this then he will freak and things will just get more weird. If I don't tell him then he perhaps will be offended that I am making jokes at his expense with some other person. What is a girl to do?

The best part is he is the oddest guy anybody I talk to has met. He does some of the most peculiar things and people just go "what??!!". Yet, he doesn't care what they think and is happy in his weirdness. So then my busy little mind gets to thinking....if I did....will other people think I am strange too? Not that I really give a damn what others think but even my closest friends think I have lost my mind. Some have tried to steer me clear and I just don't listen. I can't help it he listens as one women so deftly pointed out.

The unfortunate part is that I hear the things that people say about him. Things that people who are supposedly "friends" in his eyes say. They talk bad about him and then act like they are his best friend when he is around. I can't stand that. Yet it is not my place to say anything to him or to get in the middle. Those people are so fake and he defends them all the time. Why is that? Is he in the dark? Or is he just oblivious? I think it is the latter. Yet, I know he hears the things people say about those fakers and he must know that not everyone can possibly be wrong. Can they? I try to stand up for him and bring out his positive qualities but everyone just rolls their eyes and tells me that I sould like a lovesick puppy. Maybe I do but at least I am not trashing him every chance I get. At least I am not a fake, superficial person who has nothing better to do than to be mean to people who are nice.

I think this guy is just the greatest guy in so many ways. I know he would laugh if he heard me say that but it is true. Most people don't see things in him that I see. Granted you have to really drag it out sometimes and it is more work than most people are willing to put forth. I have read his blog. He has some really cool stories about his life. It only intrigues me to know more. After reading his blog I think he is a unique man. He has had a lot of crap in his life like most people. He just deals with it in weirder ways than most people. Aside from that though I think he is solid and really smart. I would feel honored to know him better...let alone be his most treasured confidant.

I can't wait to see if he calls me back. Maybe it will be an inside joke afterall. Hopefully my New Year will have a silver lining to it this year. Then again there is always room for disappointment.

Don't be a lemming!