Mysterious Mr. M (Part II)

My poor Mr M. just got shocking news that his closest friends are all fake. I feel bad for him because he really took it hard. I wonder if his feeling of rejection is because he has this success complex in his personality or if it's because he truly harbors feelings deep down for one of the people involved. He is so hard to read at times. He says he's not mysterious but that is just wrong. He is amazing and if he would open his eyes he might find he is not as in the dark as he thinks he is.

We went to coffee today and I have to say it was hard not to just focus intently upon him. The whole time I am thinking "don't make an ass out of yourself" so I tried to talk to him and keep the conversation going. It went better than it usually does. Perhaps things are on the upswing.

In any case, it put me in an awkward position. Do I get in the middle of something that I have no place being in the middle of? Which is kind of what it sounded like he wanted me to do. Or do I be his friend and just let him deal with it on his own with the information I have given him? I think the second and so that is how I have proceeded. It kills me because I care about him and I know that this will change his behavior, attitude, etc. He is so great the way he is. Why does everyone think he needs to change to something to make him more like them....a lemming?

He acted like I didn't stand up for him. What he doesn't realize is I fight for him all the time. In fact, so much so that it hurts my image and makes me look bad. Not that I give a s*** but it does affect me. So for him to act like I have done him some diservice upsets me a little. I am the one making an ass out of myself for him. I am the one that has a freakin blog all about him. Not that anyone knows that or has read it. Still, it should show him I have some loyalty.

The truth is, I need to tell him. I need to tell him about the blog. About my feeling for him. About it all. I need this weight off of my shoulders. It feels like I am carrying around a secret or a lie and keeping it from him. I think if I was just honest about it all then he could see everything and then we could just talk. I don't think for one second that he will be like "yes I am definitely interested in you and I want to date you" but at least we could be close friends. I mean we have shared what I would call some secrets in respect to people talking smack etc. It does make me a little sad that he thinks he is too good for me. He hasn't told me this because we haven't talked about it, but I feel it from him. In some ways I think that he needs someone like me. Someone supportive to cheer on his success complex he has going on. Someone to be sweet to him and show him his greatest qualities that he doesn't see. Someone who is going to be honest with him and tell him the stuff that no one else seems to want to say because they are too scared to. I could go on for hours.

I guess we will just have to wait to see what happens. I can't predict the future. All I know is if the lemmings get him there is no turning back. Hopefully this doesn't cause him to shut me out.

Mr. M stay away from the lemmings!!